Abusive relationships may occur without you realize it. It can’t be called as hidden because you feel it. In this relationship, both women and men can be the victim. It doesn’t always have to physically because this relationship can give effect to your emotion. The abusive behavior happens in marriage and intimate relationship, and both in a heterosexual and same-sex relationship. Moreover, this relationship still occurs no matter the ethnicity background, age, and economic levels are. Many experts have their own definition of this relationship.
According to Helpguide.org, abusive relationships occur when a person tries to dominate and control the other person. And because it related to domination, it means both parties cannot be involved in a fair relationship. The first thing that you can do to help yourself is by recognizing the signs of this relationship.
Signs of Abusive Relationships
First is fear. In abusive relationships, you’ll feel afraid to your partner. That’s why you cannot bring up certain topics when you’re together just because you don’t want your partner to be mad at you. You’re afraid of your partner’s anger. As the result, usually, in this relationship, you keep blaming yourself when your partner starts to get angry. And you think that you deserve to be treated unfairly by your partner. At some point, you believe that there’s no right thing that you can do to fix your partner’s behavior.
Second is your feeling. It’s important to understand and recognize your own feeling. In this relationship, partner with abusive behavior will always make you uncomfortable with yourself. And your partner always makes you feel that your weaknesses are more visible and important than your strengths. The behaviors that are often done in this relationship are when your partner is yelling at you, forcing you to do or wear something for his or her pleasure only, humiliating you, and/or making you embarrassed. Moreover, if your partner always put the blame on you for what he or she has done to you, it’s also included as abusive behavior. And if your never takes your opinion seriously, you should consider it as abusive behavior.
The third is violence. In this relationship, it’s possible if you cannot predict your partner’s temper. And when he or she shows his or her temper, it will be bad. Abusive behaviors happen when your partner tries to hurt you and kill you. He or she perhaps threatens you, damages your belongings, and even commits suicide if you decide to leave him or her.
And fourth is your partner’s power. Some people see this as caring behavior, but when your partner’s behavior makes you uncomfortable and if he or she keeps doing the same thing even if you already state your opinion, it’s included as abusive behaviors. Your partner’s domination can be seen when he or she tries to limit your access to your friends, parents, money, and even to other things that are important and usual for you. Moreover, if your partner is extremely jealous of you, tracking you wherever you go, and even controlling your activity, then you should report this.
What to Do
People will help. For women, you can call National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-7233) in the US, Women’s Aid (0808 2000 247) in the UK, 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) in Australia, and International Directory of Domestic Violence Agencies for worldwide. For men, you can contact The Domestic Abuse Helpline for Men & Women in US and Canada, ManKind Initiative in the UK, and One in Three Campaign in Australia.
Sometimes the victims don’t want to share their problem just because they’re embarrassed and afraid. Moreover, love and your partner’s promise to be better are also reasons why people rarely report their partner’s abusive behaviors. But, you need to ask yourself, until when you still want to stay in this kind of relationship while, at the same time, you actually deserve to be in healthy relationships.
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